Perhaps, among the hardest to do, is forgiving oneself from errors done. Big or small it may be, our mistakes deserve to be remembered, for it is through them that we learn something valuable and irreplaceable; but we should, eventually, forgive ourselves for committing them, and learn to love ourselves again – a human neither perfect nor can ever be, but still someone precious and worthy of loving.

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Mind vs Heart: Struggles of Depression

“A feeling of seeping sadness. A long, continuous breath of despair. A never-changing darkness within.”

depression

No person in the world wishes to be unhappy. No one dreams of being locked out of the world, of being succumbed to a heavy darkness that never seems to lift. Everyday is like a time bomb, ticking off the life remaining in you, counting how many more seconds will you be able to resist not to end it all.

Depression.

Walls seem to close upon you, and yet you cannot fight it, you have no strength nor courage left to stop the looming suffocation. Walls keep you away from others; no one can hear you, and you can hear no one. Walls surround you; breathing seems like a part of a long-forgotten past.

DEPRESSION!

Do you know me enough to understand me? Are you willing to feel my pain to help me? Would you still be there even if I send you away? Have you enough light and peace and music within you to save me? Can you remind me who God is?

Depression.

You’ve been stuck for so long. Do you not wish to be free?

depression

There is still light. Do you not see? Even in the darkest night, a star can be seen from afar.

depress…

Stop! Can you hear it? … A sound, beautiful and sweet, the night breeze brings to you.

depr……

You are not alone.

dep…….

When your eyes fail to see, I will give you mine. When your ears cannot hear, I will give you mine.When your heart knows love no longer, I will give you mine.

de……..

Take my hand, and don’t ever let go.

d………

Be at peace now.

I      A  M     H  E  R  E    W  I  T  H     Y  O  U ,     A  L  W  A  Y  S  .

Daily Prompt: Dilemma

A Life Beyond the Ordinary

“One of the most fascinating things about life is that you don’t know where you’ll be tomorrow.
There are endless possibilities…”

 

Like the possibility you’re reading my very first blog post? Yes, something like that 🙂

Hi! I’m Sheena, or you may call me Rose, whichever you prefer I’m cool with that. Have you passed your test for Apparition yet? No? You better hang on to my broomstick, then. Let’s fly!

Well, I don’t know about you, but I believe in magic. I see it everyday from the beautiful sunrise beyond the east; I smell it from the delicious aroma coming from our neighbors’ kitchen; I hear it from the laughter of children playing with their friends; and I feel it by the wind that makes me want to soar into the starry night sky. Magic. 

Life is full of this fairy dust feels. You don’t have to find it, and you won’t even need a Hogwarts acceptance letter, mind. You just need to open your eyes, your senses, your whole being to the world. That magic is within you.

To see the ordinary as something much more than the ordinary is a gift everyone has. You may stumble upon it, once, twice, thrice in your life, perhaps even threatened by the gift, as it distorts things you knew to be normal. Like all gifts, you may choose to accept it or remain oblivious. Believe me when I say I have been ignoring that magic inside me for the past 22 years – the magic of design creativity.

My favorite place in the whole world, except perhaps my bedroom, is a bookstore. Books! Oh, shelves upon shelves of the most wonderful assortment of displays! Thousands of letters & words vying for attention printed on the most colorful paper covers! Little have I known then that my love for these lively hues & variety of typefaces would play the biggest game-changing role in my life. For the past years of my, ahem, young life, I was an ordinary girl who studied hard to make her parents proud. Merits and recognition for academic excellence are no strangers to me, because those are the things that make memorizing facts, solving logical problems, and crunching numbers extraordinary. To cut the long story short, I graduated college with an Accountancy degree, got my CPA license, started on my first job, quit after 4 months on my first job, got hired on my second job, resigned after almost 1 year & 8 months of tenure. The next thing I knew, I was proclaiming, I want to be a graphic designer”.

Now I’m not saying that you should quit your job right now and pursue your passion (if those two aren’t aligned, like mine). Life and career decisions require in-depth reflection and listening to sound advices, after all. These are definitely not petty matters to mess around with since it will greatly affect you. It just so happens that I was very unhappy with the way things were going at work, then this realization came to me (or in a manner of speaking, God spoke to me). It literally came like the distant view opened up to reveal the heavens and a choir of angels sung “Alleluia” in the background. How could I ignore that!

I knew then and there that creating works of art to inspire people has been a long-subdued dream; it was there in my deepest subconsciousness waiting to be set free. I want to be like those artists who made the wonderful book covers that delighted me since I was a kid. I want to color the world with gladness and warmth; to let people feel that tomorrow always bring a new beginning and endless possibilities – limitless.

Life decisions are never easy, especially this one. My parents were definitely hard-pressed on the matter of having a successful career. They were afraid “I’ve lost my mind”. Well, I probably did, haha, but I assured them that I can be a successful graphic designer. “It’ll not be easy”, I told them; but this time I really am happy. It’s like I’ve finally saw the world in its full color.

My journey towards that dream is just beginning to unravel. There are many more things to learn about this world I have recently known, and so much to discover. I’m unsure of what will happen tomorrow, but I now openly welcome the endless possibilities that lie ahead. No longer afraid; ready to take on a life beyond the ordinary.

Do you want to see the world in full colors, too? Well, for one thing, you really don’t have to quit your job. Just be honest with yourself. Do good things you thought you can never do. Unleash the magic within – LUMOS MAXIMA!

lumos


Thank you for reading my very first blog post! Do you feel inspired with what you have read? Or have encountered maybe even just a fleeting short intake of breath, a teeny tiny spark of magic within? Let me know what you think! Leave a reply for your comments & suggestions. Stay tuned for more posts of my journey as an aspiring graphic designer, diving deep into techniques I’ve learned or wonderful things in life that inspired me to grow.